


The Ex Murderers

by IWasAlwaysDead



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Background Relationships, Brotherly Love, Dark Crack, Established Relationship, Family Feels, Fluff and Smut, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Murder Family, Murderers, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Break Up, Rape/Non-con Elements, Revenge, The Author Regrets Nothing, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, This isn't tentacle porn but it could be, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:55:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26356837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IWasAlwaysDead/pseuds/IWasAlwaysDead
Summary: L's family and friends are sick of seeing him continue to be tormented by his ex. It is finally time to do something about it. Permanently.
Relationships: L (Death Note)/Original Character(s), L/Yagami Light, Matt | Mail Jeevas/Mello | Mihael Keehl
Comments: 86
Kudos: 43





	1. Final Straw

**Author's Note:**

> This was going to be a one-shot I wrote to get my feelings out about my bastard ex. For some reason I decided to be mad as hell yesterday. Grief is like that. Anyway, I took that rage and started writing and it looks like this will be a few chapters long at least.
> 
> Also, as an aside, I wanted L to be as close to Canon as possible. Typically I do whatever I want (haven't gotten complaints yet lmao) but here I wanted to challenge myself because Canon L doesn't speak much or show affection for others readily, and i liked the idea of challenging myself to write that in a fic. 
> 
> Okay I'm done. I hope you guys can all envision an ex who did you wrong. I purposely leave his description vague and do not name him just for that reason. Enjoy!

This was the final straw. Light stood in the doorway and shook from trying to restrain his anger. L had thrown himself on the loveseat, his legs on the floor as his upper body lay across it while he sobbed. It looked like he had tried to climb onto the small sofa, but gave up halfway because he was so overcome with grief. With a deep breath, Light said nothing as he quickly put together a group text:

  
**Hey guys. I'm done letting this guy fuck up L's life. What do you say we take care of him once and for all?**

  
**Mello: I'm down bro! When and where?**

  
**Nate: What happened this time?**

  
**Light: Just found out an account that was supposed to be funding multiple orphanages worldwide was robbed blind. The kids in Russia Didn't get their funds for food and clothing and about half of them died over the winter. L had no idea his ex had been stealing the money for himself.**

  
**Matt: What…the…fuck.**

  
**Light: I know.**

  
**Mello: That fucker is going down.**

  
**Nate: For once we agree.**

**Watari: How about we all meet for tea in an hour?**

**Light: Sounds good.**

**Matt: Mello and I are on our way.**

**Near: See everyone soon.**

**Beyond: Yo! Sorry I'm late to the party. I was uh, tied up 😅.**

**Beyond: Just read the messages. WHAT THE FUCK. I'm bringing my special bat.**

  
**Light: Is that really necessary?**

  
**Beyond: Are children dying necessary, Light? I'm bringing it.**

  
**Light:🙄**

  
**Mello: Yo Watari my man can you make those awesome chocolate cookies again for tea?**

  
**Watari: Very well**

**Beyond: Oh, strawberry jam filled biscuits please!**

**Watari: okay**

**Light: Let's not lose focus, fellas…**

  
Light put his phone away and walked through the door, kneeling beside L. Placing a hand on his back, Light opened his mouth to speak when L pulled away from his touch. “I want to be alone, “ he grumbled lowly, never turning his face toward Light. He didn't want Light to see him this way. He never wanted anyone to see his humanity. It was stupid, he knew. But his pride sometimes felt like the only thing he had left. 

  
It was difficult to not feel offended, but Light stood and walked toward the door. It wasn't his fault L was like this. “Watari invited us for tea. Something about chocolate cookies and strawberry jam biscuits. But I'll let him know not to bother with the strawberry shortcake since you won't be coming. “

  
“I said no such thing, “ L announced, suddenly pulled together and in the doorway, eyeing Light suspiciously. The only evidence he'd been upset were his bloodshot eyes. 

  
“Oh, okay, “ Light tried to hide his smile. “Let's go then. I'll drive. “

  
L didn't say anything more, but Light always drove. Unless someone sent them a driver or Watari was taking them somewhere. In theory, L could drive, he just hated it. It never allowed for him to sit comfortably. 

  
Eventually, L stopped pondering these things as he stared at his toes because they'd arrived at Watari's manor. Retirement suited the old man well, and the estate was immaculate. It always made L glad to see the place because it meant Watari was happy. Watari also gave the best hugs according to L, but L also didn't let anyone else touch him. Well, aside from Light. But that was different. There was nothing like the comfort of one’s father.

  
When they stepped out of the car, L was staring at his feet, trying to hold himself together. Watari descended his staircase to the pea gravel drive below and stepped into L's personal space. “It'll be okay, “ he said. 

  
That was all it took for L to fall into his arms and heave. Light exchanged sorrowful looks with the old man. L would heal in time, but it was painful watching him fall apart. 

  
The promise of sweets and the comfort of his family beckoned him inside the huge house. L wasn't entirely surprised to see Matt, Mello, and Near. They were already enjoying their treats so he took his place beside them and quietly indulged in one of the few things that still brought him joy. 

  
Light took a seat next to him and was somewhat surprised to feel L reach for his hand beneath the table. He didn't look at Light, speak, or slow down on inhaling the pastries before him. Somehow, though, it was all Light needed. Light sighed, relaxed, and took the comfort he was offered. L wasn't an affectionate man. He wasn't good at expressing his feelings for Light, so Light had learned long ago to cling to these little moments, to relish in them. They said _I'm here, I trust you, I love you._

  
The moment was interrupted when Beyond burst into the room, his white shirt blood soaked and his face, neck, arms and jeans all splattered with dried blood. “Hiya fam!” he announced as he strolled over to the table and plopped down in a seat across from Light. 

  
Mello smiled brightly at him while Matt and Near gave casual waves. Light bristled a bit at Beyond's lack of manners. “You're not going to wash up before you eat?”

  
“Nah, “ he said as he stuffed his face, completely unbothered by Light's disapproving stare. 

  
L smiled a bit, knowing he'd probably be asked to investigate Beyond's latest string of killings. Much like with Kira, however, neither he nor the other two top detectives in the world could ever solve those two cases. It was really quite the mystery. “You've been busy, I see. “

  
“Yup,” Beyond winked. He knew better than to divulge any information about his killings. He didn't want anyone to be an accessory or to give away any of the fun clues he'd planted for L. They'd been playing this game since they were kids. L loved solving puzzles and B loved providing them. 

  
Once the food had been eaten and the tea was gone, Watari cleared the table and Light began discussing the plan. “I want him to suffer. He's made L suffer so much and I'm sick of it. “

  
L squeezed Light's hand and gave him a meaningful look. He was sick of it too. His ex had ruined him emotionally, physically, and financially. Took advantage of and exploited his weaknesses, his inability to understand certain social cues or contracts. It had been years and he was still finding ways to wound L. 

  
Matt and Near were able to pinpoint L's ex and figure out his location. Beyond, Mello, and Watari took to cleaning guns. L gave Light _the look_ and Light knew it was time to retire. L had enough stimulation for one day.

  
They excused themselves and Light was pleased to find L didn't let go of his hand until they were in the guest room and getting ready for bed. They were silent as they each went about their nightly routine, L having come a long way from his younger days with Watari. He brushed his teeth and washed his face and changed into pajamas without complaint. Watari would've been shocked to see him toss his clothes in the laundry bin. Light had been nothing if not effective in getting L into a healthy routine. Sometimes it was much to L's chagrin, but it was always from a place of love that Light nagged him into submission. 

  
An even more welcomed surprise was when L climbed into bed and curled against Light. He spread his long, thin fingers out across Light's chest and could feel the pulse of his heart through his fingers. He even thought perhaps the silver band on his left hand rattled just the tiniest bit with each thump. 

  
Light cautiously folded his own arms around L, peering down at the odd detective he loved so much. He often wondered what L was thinking when he got like this. Was he contemplating the questions of the universe? It couldn't hurt to ask. “What are you thinking?”

  
L glanced up, the first time he really looked at Light all day. His gaze landed back on Light's chest before he spoke, saying, “I was thinking about how much I love you. “

  
Light could've leapt from the bed in joy and danced until morning but he was too cozy to move. He settled for kissing L sweetly, then replying, “I love you too, “ as his fingers stroked L's back. 

  
Sometimes L wondered if Light would've married him knowing what he knows now. Had he known how difficult it would be, how utterly ruined he was, would Light still have chosen this life? It occurred to L that Light could leave him at any time. There was nothing keeping him there. Any evidence linking Light to Kira had long been destroyed and it wasn't like L would blackmail him into staying even if he had it. Light stayed of his own volition. It was comforting to know Light stayed because he wanted to but it was just as frightening to think he could leave if he wanted as well. 

  
Tonight, however, he didn't worry about Light leaving. He felt more loved than ever before after sitting with his husband and brothers at the table, discussing all the ways they were going to make that bastard ex of his pay. Now that he was lying in bed with Light holding him, L felt like he was on the verge of learning something new about love, and he allowed himself to melt into it. 


	2. Touching You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse into Light and L's love life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cute fluffy smut before the killing begins lol

Light couldn't help but let out the laugh welling within him when he woke to find L sprawled out on his chest, snoring into a little puddle of drool. It was comical for so many reasons, one of them being that L rarely, if ever, slept so hard. The jostling of Light’s chest and belly as he laughed woke L, who seemed disoriented at first. Where were they and why was he asleep on top of his husband? And what was Light laughing at? The confused look on L's face made Light laugh all the harder. 

  
In a playful moment of impulse, Light wrapped L in his arms and rolled them over, pinning L to the bed with his body. The drool felt cold and gross as it smeared on L, who struggled to get away from Light as Light laughed and teased him. “Nope! You're not going anywhere until you take this drool back!”

  
 _Please, God, noooo!_ L cringed as Light pushed his chest to L's face and smeared the remaining drool on his cheek. By that point Light was laughing so hard that he couldn't hold onto L any longer. Once he'd wiggled free, L frowned as he wiped the drool off his cheek and pushed his left foot into Light’s face, effectively pushing him off the bed. 

  
At first, when Light hit the floor, L worried a bit that he would be mad or hurt. But when he heard Light laughing all the more, trying to say that he couldn't get up because of how hard he was laughing, L began laughing too. Quietly at first. Cautiously. Then he peeked over the edge of the bed and completely lost it at the sight of his husband sprawled out on the floor, red faced with tears in the corners of his eyes. 

  
L grabbed the comforter and pulled it off the bed with him as he covered both he and Light. They were both fully awake now and L was in the mood to thank his husband for all the wonderful things he was doing for him.   
Light received L with open arms, accepting his hot, fervent kisses and aroused squirming. L was still incredibly shy when it came to being intimate, and preferred being covered, in the dark, with nobody around for miles. It took some adjusting for Light, who was used to being able to see his partner until that point. It was also an adjustment going from being with women to being with a man. Men were harrier and not as soft and, well, everything was different. 

  
The one thing that L did better than anyone else was what he was about to do now. Light trembled with anticipation, clutching at the comforter because L got mad when Light pulled his hair. Any concession was worth it when it came to that mouth, however. It was downright award winning, the way he sucked Light's soul through his cock. 

  
“God! _Fuck!_ L!” Light couldn't decide what he was trying to say, but a pale, white hand about slapped him as it rose up from the shadows and came down upon his mouth to stop it. Because L was so intensely focused on sucking dick, he didn't realize he was practically smothering his husband. Not wanting to alert L and cause him to break stride, Light casually lifted a few fingers from his nose and began breathing deeply, attempting to not gasp and sputter for air and thus ruin the moment. Besides, he was so _close!_

  
Light managed a muffled cry of warning before shooting his load straight down L's throat. He knew it wasn't L's favorite part; come wasn’t exactly tasty. But he was the pragmatic sort and that was easier than getting up and finding a place to dispose of it.

  
When L sat up, Light grabbed him and pulled him into a heated kiss, their heads creating a tent out of the blanket. Light reached between L's bent knees and began stroking him, gauging how much more stimulation L was actually up for. Sometimes L wanted physical contact, sometimes he didn't. A lot of the time he didn't. It was almost like the more Light touched him the more energy it drained from L. So it was surprising that after holding his hand the day before, then sleeping all night on top of him and _then_ giving him the most magical head, L leaned onto his back and pulled Light on top of him. It was L's way of asking for more than a hand job. This was L wanting Light in the deepest of ways. This was L asking for connection, asking to make love. 

  
“Why don't we get back on the bed for this?” Light asked as he hovered over L, achingly hard again at the prospect of being inside his husband. 

  
L grumbled but complied. They needed lube anyway and it was packed away in their overnight bag. Standing, L kept himself wrapped in the comforter as Light’s bare ass crossed the room. It was all L could stare at as he stroked himself while waiting patiently on the bed. 

  
When Light returned to L, he crawled back between L's legs and kissed him as he pressed him over onto his back. L always tried to watch Light prep him, but without a mirror, he wouldn't be able to see it. Sighing in resignation, L laid back, his stroking becoming slower and slower until it stopped completely as Light's fingers entered his body. He loved the unpleasant stretch, though he wasn't sure why. Perhaps because it was closely correlated with such intense pleasure and release. L didn't have his mind about him enough to ponder much of anything in that moment, however. 

  
When Light sank inside, L gripped Light's arms rigidly. It had been a while since the last time so his body wasn't used to it anymore. “Are you okay?” Light whispered. L nodded. They shared a kiss and Light held L as they made love. It was so rare for L to let him freely hold him, fuck him, kiss him the way he wanted to. It was rare and wonderful and Light took full advantage of L's good mood and willingness to be with him. 

  
“I love you, Light, “ L whispered in the darkness. 

  
“I love you too, “ Light replied. 


	3. Stake Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys make plans and a girl joins in on the fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm insecure and when the second chapter had no comments I thought noooo they hate it I fucked up lmao. Hopefully you guys still like it.

L was enjoying the way the sugar cubes clinked as they fell into the cup of black coffee when Light received a phone call. L turned only his eyes toward Light, who left the breakfast table as he spoke. _Must be Naomi,_ L thought as he stirred, sipped, grimaced, added more sugar and repeated. 

  
“Yes, he's doing much better, thank you,” Light said as he stepped out into the fresh Spring air. It was a beautiful morning. Perfect for killing. “Of course B told you. I figured. “

  
Naomi had an on again off again thing with Beyond ever since she and L worked together on his case many years ago. It wasn’t until after she actually met the dark haired, ruby eyed devil that she threw any sense of judgment out the window and had a full fledged affair with him. After confessing her transgression to Raye, he broke off their engagement and she couldn't say she was upset to see him go. 

  
The only reason she and Beyond weren't in a steady relationship was because he felt driven to go on the occasional murdering spree and she couldn't follow. She'd decided to become a field agent with the FBI again and the two things really didn't go well together. Except, of course, for when she was investigating her long time, part time, boyfriend. 

  
“I'm boarding my connector flight now, “ Naomi said, the busy airport in the background making it hard for her to hear Light. “I can meet you there. B sent me the location already. He will send me the plan when I arrive.”

  
“Sounds good, “ Light smiled, shaking his head _. The more the merrier I guess._ “Thanks, Naomi. I know L will be glad to see you. “

  
“Same. Talk soon. “ And with that, she hung up. 

  
Light pocketed his phone, thinking they really didn't need this many people to take the asshole out, but it was nice having the support anyway. He stepped back inside the large room with panoramic windows overlooking the rolling countryside. It was a beautiful place to eat with potted plants all over the room adding to the ambiance.

Well, it _was_ a beautiful place to eat. Currently Beyond had one foot on the table and one on his chair as he tried to fight L over the last pastry. Nothing had changed between the twins in nearly 30 years, it seemed. They both still had a sweet tooth and an insatiable penchant for murder and puzzles. Beyond was just a lot louder than L.

  
Eventually, they'd wind up splitting the pastry and move on like nothing happened. Once breakfast was over and everyone was fully caffeinated, Watari cleared the table and Matt pulled out his laptop. Everyone gathered round as he explained his plan. “Near and I intercepted an Amazon package and replaced its contents with a smoke bomb that'll knock him unconscious the moment he opens it. “

  
“Smart, “ Light said quietly, rubbing his chin in thought. 

  
“What was in the package?” Beyond asked. 

  
“Dildo's,” Matt replied. 

  
“Really?”

  
“No, you buffoon.” Matt barely got the words out before B punched him in the head. Mello burst into laughter and Light wondered if it was too early to drink. Near wondered the same. L was distracted by a butterfly who somehow managed to find its way inside. 

  
_How the fuck do we get away with so many crimes_? “That's enough!” Light rarely shouted, but when he did, it worked. Except for when it came to L. He was used to tuning Light out and continued playing with the butterfly, completely unaffected. 

  
Beyond loosed Matt’s shirt and Mello stopped strangling Beyond. They straightened out their clothes, cleared their throats, muttered apologies, and Matt turned back to his computer. “According to this he should be getting his package late this afternoon, sometime after 4pm but no later than 9.”

  
“Who's up for a stake out?!” Beyond shouted excitedly. 

  
“Will there be coffee?” L asked, deciding to finally join the conversation. 

  
“Hell yes! And donuts!” Beyond was growing more excited by the second. 

  
L lit up at the prospect of sitting around doing nothing while eating donuts and drinking coffee. “I'm in. “

  
Light rubbed his eyes as he contemplated walking off to find some sort of alcohol he could consume. With a deep sigh, he gently touched the back of L's shirt and quickly removed his hand when L began turning toward him. “You hate stake outs. “

  
“No I don't.”

  
“I distinctly remember you complaining that you had to pee and fucking hated sitting in a car bored to tears for hours the last time. “

  
L placed a finger to his lips and feigned thoughtfulness, “Mmmmmm no. You're mistaken. “

  
***

  
“Whose idea was this? This is fucking miserable and I have to piss,” L complained as he squirmed in his seat, stacking empty paper coffee cups on the dash. 

  
Light gripped the steering wheel and briefly wondered how bad death by crashing into a brick wall would be. He didn't even bother responding. Beyond had bailed the moment Naomi landed, the bastard. This was all his idea and he should be the one suffering L's bitching, Light thought. But no, the fucker had to go get laid at the most inconvenient time. 

  
Light was in the middle of contemplating alternative methods of murder- suicide for he and L when there was a popping sound and a flash of light. The smoke bomb had gone off, and by the sound of the thud inside the home, it had been effective. 


	4. Beyond Killing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the chapter number keeps growing🤣
> 
> Wet get a peak into Naomi and Beyond's relationship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short again but fun. I'm trying to build anticipation for the big kill 🤣 is it working or are you just annoyed?

Naomi screamed as she clung to the head board, gushing and squeezing her tight, hot body around Beyond's thrusting cock. “Harder, you fucking bastard!” She screamed wildly as he pounded her from behind as fast and hard as he possibly could. 

  
She was a fucking slave driver. Sweat poured from Beyond to the point of stinging his eyes. He couldn't let go of her hips and wipe them, so he squeezed them shut. _I'm literally fucking blind right now._ His body ached and burned, his thighs threatening to give out. _Don't you fucking dare,_ he warned himself.   
He'd come with a scream, falling off the bed in an ejaculating heap of sweat and come. Naomi could only laugh hysterically, attempting to ask if he'd hurt his dick in the fall. 

  
“My willy is fine, “ he breathlessly replied, finally able to see again as he cooled off, laying against the hardwood floors and wishing to never move again.

  
Naomi’s phone dinged. “B, we gotta go, “ Naomi said as she threw his clothes at him, perfectly smacking in the face with the bundle of blood soiled clothing. “Can't let the others have all the fun. “

  
Beyond groaned as he rolled off his back and shakily dressed. His need for a shower was desperate at this point, but it didn't look like he'd be getting one any time soon. “Can't we kill the guy later? I'm fucking exhausted. “

  
“Sure, we’ll all synchronize our Google calendars to whatever date L's ex is next available. Wouldn't want his murder to be an inconvenience, “ Naomi quipped as she zipped her skin tight dark wash jeans and tossed her grey t shirt over head that quite cheekily read “FBI's most wanted" in big white block letters. 

  
Beyond scowled at Naomi as he followed her out of the hotel room. He'd never say it out loud, but he loved that crazy, dark haired woman. She drove him wild. She was the second most popular thought that recurred in his twisted mind. The first was killing people, obviously. 

  
A younger, more naïve version of him probably would've lied to himself and tried to give up murder for a life with her. He would’ve given that white picket dream a good college try. Maybe they would even have had a couple of kids. But he would have succumbed to his urges eventually. Beyond had surrendered to his nature long ago, and they both knew he'd always be a flight risk waiting to run. 

  
“Ever feel like you're missing out?” He asked as they stepped onto the elevator. 

  
The question caught her off guard. “Huh?”

  
Beyond ran his right hand up his left arm, unsure what to do about the awkward feeling he suddenly felt. “You know. Like, do you ever think you should drop me and run off with Prince Charming and live happily ever after?”

  
Naomi grabbed Beyond’s hand as the elevator descended. With a small smile, she looked up at him, “Prince Charming is overrated. “

  
Beyond beamed. That was all he needed to know. They exited the elevator and walked hand in hand to Naomi's rental car. He always loved it when she drove, and happily plopped his bare feet on the dash as he reclined in the passenger seat. There was something sexy as hell about a woman tearing absolute ass down a highway like it was nothing at all. 

  
“Look in the glove box, “ she said with a smirk as she turned hard left, tires squealing under the strain. 

  
Interested, Beyond sat up and placed his feet on the floor. Opening the glove box, he immediately started laughing as he reached for the tiny glass jar. Naomi had an aunt who made homemade jams, and she made the best strawberry jam he'd ever tasted. “You’re a real gem, Mimi,” Beyond said as he dipped a finger in the perfect pot and licked it clean.

  
“I know, “ she teased. 

  
When they finally pulled up to the house, it looked like the clan had gotten started without them. Near was posted just outside the front door as look out. He nodded toward them and they nodded back. Popping Naomi's trunk, Beyond pulled out his special baseball bat that he had driven nails through. Naomi grabbed a hand gun, not that she needed it, but just in case. There was rope and duct tape and other things but they figured the others already had the bastard bound and gagged. 

  
“Showtime!” Beyond hissed excitedly add he and Naomi made their way toward the front door


	5. Bats and Booze.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fun begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took me so long to post this. I struggled with this chapter a bit.

Near sighed, bored with the whole scene as he dug the dirt out from under his fingernails. He couldn't stand getting dirty. The others didn't seem to mind it quite as much as he did. It seemed he’d always be the odd one out. Perhaps he could be considered the white sheep amongst a herd of black ones?

  
It wasn't that he had a stronger sense of morality than the others, it was just that he lacked the desire to kill. He lacked desire for a lot of things, like drama filled relationships, marriage, sex. It took him a while to figure out it was called being “ace" and that there was nothing inherently wrong with being this way. Near lived with Watari and had a dog and friends and his family. A good career as a top investigator kept him fulfilled. He couldn't really complain about his life. 

  
Looking up at Beyond and Naomi as they stepped up onto the porch, he gave a low, “Hey, “ in greeting. 

  
“Hi Near. It's been a while. I like the long hair on you, “ Naomi complimented. 

  
“Thanks,” he said as he blushed, watching to see if Beyond had any sort of jealous reaction. He didn't. “They're trying to decide what to do. Light tied him up. “

  
“Okay, thanks, “ Naomi said as she peaked through the open front door. She could hear heated bickering between the group inside the house. It seemed they couldn't agree on the best way to kill L's ex. 

  
Black rope secured the man to a chair using the most intricate knots, courtesy of Light Yagami and his obsession with it. Even better, the bound man was naked, gagged, legs spread and bound so his shriveled junk hung out for all to see. 

  
“Jesus, L. Could you even tell when he was fucking you?” Beyond asked as he casually swatted at the man's dangling ball sack with the tip of his bat.

  
“The grunting and weight of his sweaty body on top of me gave it away,” L quipped.

  
Light visibly cringed while Matt and Mello giggled. Beyond snorted and Naomi frowned at the man's privates. “I would say let's cut them off but I don't have tweezers to hold his teeny peen or a magnifying glass handy.”

  
There was more laughter among the group and the ex jerked against his restraints, his words muffled as he angrily tried to yell at Naomi. Naomi leaned forward and pulled out her little pocket knife. She kept it extra sharp for moments just like this. Pressing it against the man's jaw, she slid the blade beneath his gag. “Hold still, “ she whispered with a smirk right before jerking upwards and cutting the gag. “Oops,” she said carelessly as a little blood dripped from the cut she'd created on his cheek. 

  
He spit out the gag, “Fuck you, bitch!”

  
Naomi frowned as she stood straight and naked away, “That's the best you can come up with after finally getting the chance to speak?”

  
Beyond wasn't quite so calm about the insult, “You fucker!” He shouted as he swung his bat up from behind his ass and slammed it down into the ex's right thigh. The man screamed and cried, jolting against his restraints. “Say you're sorry!”

  
“I-I-I'm s- sorry, “ he cried, a blubbering, bleeding mess. 

  
“Yeah, it’s not a good idea to insult Beyond's woman, “ Mello tsk'd as he walked by, one hand on his hip. He was trying to decide what he wanted to do next. Beyond very clearly shattered the end of the man's femur, and Mello wondered if that meant he had lost sensation below the injury. Pulling out a hypodermic needle, he crouched and stabbed the ex in the right foot. The man lurched forward and screamed. “Oh, cool. So you can still feel.”

  
Matt giggled as he watched Mello repeatedly stab the man’s feet, especially loving it when he hit a nerve. Mello only stopped when Near popped in the front door. “Um, I think the neighbor called the police.”

  
Practically everyone rolled their eyes, except the ex. His eyes grew wide with hope and he began screaming. Naomi took the butt of her gun and knocked him out. “L, Light, let's go talk to the cops.”

  
L took Light's hand abs they followed Naomi outside, where a sole police car waited in the driveway. An officer stepped out and smiled. A young man, probably new to the force. “Hey there. Got a noise complaint.”

  
Naomi smiled sympathetically. “My apologies. We’re running a training activity, “ she said as she flashed her FBI badge. 

  
“Oh, okay,” he said, then looked to Light. 

  
“Private investigator and FBI consultant, “ he said as he pulled out his wallet and showed his ID to the officer. L did the same. 

  
“Alright then, I'll make a note of it. Sorry to bother y'all!” The young man smiled and excused himself. He'd heard of Naomi Misora, Ryuzaki, and Light Yagami. They were legends. Just being able to tell everyone at the precinct who he’d met was a thrilling thought.

  
The three sighed and turned to head back inside once the officer drove off. “We’ll have to be quieter, “ Light suggested. Naomi and L nodded. 

  
The ex had been regagged, his head lulling as he struggled to maintain consciousness. Matt sipped a bottle of vodka he'd found in the kitchen. Turning it over, he poured about half to bottle out onto the ex’s leg wound. The man screamed, the sound muffled by his gag. “He's awake now, “ Matt said casually as he sipped the vodka again. Mello was quick to join him in the fun. 

  
While the two young lovebirds were busy getting smashed, Light turned to L, “Well, what would you like to do next?”

  
L pressed his thumb to his bottom lip, eyes wild with insanity as he anticipated the next thrill. “Let's remind him of our relationship. All the hard times he put me through.”


	6. What Goes Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Comes around, right? 
> 
> Yo this is your warning for rape and torture

Crouching before his ex, who was pale and sweaty, L grinned a bit as he examined that all too familiar face. “Do you remember the night of our first anniversary? I had come down with a fever and wasn't well enough to please you.” L stood and walked around the bound man, thoughtfully tapping his chin. “So you solved that little problem by raping me in the bathroom. You do remember, don't you? Or should I jog your memory?”

  
Light untied the disgusting wretch of a man from the chair, allowing him to fall onto his face. Beyond and Light held him there by his arms as L picked up a dildo from the box of fun and interesting things they had brought with them. He walked off with it to the nearest restroom, only to return a moment later with something dripping down it. “Don't worry, I'll give you the same courtesy you gave me and use soap to lube up first, “ L said as he rammed the dildo harshly into his ex's asshole.

  
The ex screamed against his gag, struggling to get free from the grip of Light and Beyond. Of course, it was no use, and Matt and Mello took to holding down his legs so he couldn't kick out as L continued his assault. L rammed the dildo in and ripped it out over and over again until he was fatigued and bored, the hole loosening enough that it obviously wasn't as painful anymore. 

  
“Remove his gag, “ L said as he walked around to the front of his ex. Beyond tugged on the gag, and L lowered the soap and shit covered dildo. “You really need to learn how to clean yourself. “

  
The ex resisted, but L managed to shove the dildo in his mouth and secure the gag so he couldn't spit it out. The man was sobbing, drooling and finally vomiting as he gagged on the cock. The smell was horrendous, and the guys let him lay in his vomit as they took a step back from him. 

  
“Let's clean him off,” L suggested. “Naomi, do you mind boiling some water?”

  
“Not at all,“ she smiled sweetly as she excused herself to the kitchen, Beyond on her heels. 

  
With ten minutes to spare until the water boiled, L turned to his husband and nuzzled him sweetly. Light enveloped L and kissed the top of his head, surprised by his husband’s show of affection. 

  
Naomi finally returned from the kitchen, face flushed from kisses, pot holders on both hands. “Stand back, everyone,” she said as she tipped the pot and poured the boiling water all over the man on the floor.

  
He tried to scream and writhed in pain, steam rising from his burned skin. L simply smiled. “That's better, “ he said, Crouching once again by the ex’s face. “But now to dry you off. “

  
Beyond's face lit up. He and Mello both had a penchant for fire. They grabbed their flame throwers, ready to literally fire them up. L lifted a finger, “Not just yet,” L said, “Let's save that for last. We can just burn the whole house down.”

  
Beyond and Mello high fived in excitement. Burning the whole place down sounded good to them! They watched as L turned back to the man shivering on the floor. “I just want you to know that all your money and assets have been liquidated and spread across all the orphanages I support. Your life insurance will pay out to me as well, and I'll be erecting a new orphanage in your name in Germany. Thank you for being so generous.”

  
The coldness with which L thanked his ex even made Light shiver. Damn. L was being downright brutal. Not that this trash heap didn't deserve it. He deserved all this and more. It was just unnerving for Light to see his husband like this. Light hoped he went back to the quiet, thoughtful, loving detective he knew so well. He hoped these events didn't change L in a negative way. What he wanted was for L to finally be free. The trauma of the past had affected him for so long, held him back in so many ways. They wanted to move on with their lives but they couldn't because of him. _Well, not after today._ Light would be there to pick L up when he fell apart. He'd be there to help him through anything. That's what it meant to be married. That's what it meant to love someone. 

  
Light approached L from behind and rested one hand gingerly on L's hip. Leaning forward, he kissed the side of his face, in clear view of the miserable man on the floor. “I'm proud of you, “ Light whispered. L flushed. Nobody could make him feel the way his husband did. And when Light said he was proud? Oh, it was like the universes collided. No other mouth could utter higher praise.


	7. For the First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter! L is savage in his final words to his ex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this little fic!! It sure was a lot of fun to write.

It was nearly time to say goodbye forever. The ex had been sat back on his sore rump, exhausted as he stared up at L through swollen, blood shot eyes. The others knew L would want the last goodbye, that he must have things to say he didn't want anyone else to hear. With a kiss to his husband, Light and the others filed outside into the crisp evening air. It was a beautiful night, and Matt and Mello had planned ahead enough to have a cooler full of beer and sandwiches for everyone. 

  
L pulled a chair from the kitchen and placed it before the sagging bag of meat. He was bloody, bruised, swollen, and shaking with fear. Cutting the gag off, L sat, crossing his legs and appearing oddly normal. It was somehow unnerving to see him sit this way. “You know, “ L started index finger scratching his bottom lip. “I’d ask why you're like this. I’d ask why you treated me so poorly and why you stole from me and let innocent children die… but I don't care what you have to say. The more I think on it, the more I realize that I could spend the rest of my life tormenting you and it wouldn't come close to all the people you've hurt.”

  
“L…” the man grumbled weakly, shifting in his restraints. “I really did love you.”

  
“Oh shut the fuck up. No you did not. That's fucking laughable,” L smiled and rubbed his eyes as he reclined in his seat. “You know what I love? The fact that I never have to see you again. The fact that you'll never touch me again. Did you know that every cell in the body completely regenerates every seven years? That means that in about 2 years from now, I'll have a body you never touched. Do you know what a relief that is? “ L leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees, feet on the floor, “And I love Light. God, I love him so much. I don't tell him enough. I wish I could marry him over and over again. He treats me like I hung the moon. He taught me what it’s like to be loved. And you know what? When I leave here tonight, I'm going to go home, and I'm going to fuck him. I'm going to fuck him all night long while you're turning to ash.”

  
“You've changed, “ the ex gurgled.

  
“Thank God, “ L said as he stood and headed for the door. “I'm so glad I get to live in a world where you don't exist anymore.”

  
L's ex whimpered, but L was already gone. He smiled as he stepped into the cold night air. Looking up at the moon, L smiled and breathed deep, arms out from his sides as he welcomed this newfound freedom. Locking eyes with Light, L strolled over to his husband and accepted the beer Light offered. “Thank you for doing this for me. “

  
“Of course,” Light smiled, planting a kiss to L's forehead. 

  
“Who wants a bonfire?!” Beyond called, flame thrower already lighting up the night. 

  
The group stood by the cars, drinking beer and eating sandwiches as they watched the house burn. It was so bright and the fire beautiful against the night sky. The flames added a warmth to the cool air that was inviting and cozy. 

  
Light wrapped an arm around L at they watched fiery blaze. He smiled at the back of L's head, thinking how much he adored that crazy man. He may never know what L said to his ex in his final moments, and that was okay. He didn't really need to know. L's ex could have those words because that was all he had. Light had everything, and he would have it for the rest of their lives together. 

  
Leaning forward, Light pressed a kiss to the skin just below L's ear. Now seemed like as good a time as any to ask. “I want a baby,” Light whispered. 

  
L turned in Light's grasp, wide eyed with surprise and wonder. “You do?”

  
Light nodded, smile becoming a bit sheepish. “I've wanted a baby with you for a while now, it just didn't seem right to ask until now.”

  
As much as it sucked, L understood. Dealing with his ex had taken a lot of their time and energy. Now that he was gone, they could focus that time and energy on something new, like growing their family. “I think a baby would be nice, “ L finally said, a curious look on his face as he contemplated what fatherhood might be like. 

  
Light lit up and pulled L to him, kissing him. “Really? Oh, L. I'm so happy. I'm so fucking happy right now!”

  
L laughed in his husband’s embrace, real joy permeating from their little moment. The rest of the group looked over, wondering what had gotten Light so excited. “I'm going to be a dad!” He announced. 

  
“When are you due, L?” Beyond teased, resulting in an elbow to the side from Naomi. 

  
L and Light both brushed off the joke, too enamored with each other to care about anything else in the world. They had their whole lives before them, and as L leaned in to kiss Light once more, he felt as though he was just beginning to realize that for the first time. 

**Author's Note:**

> Well, what do we think?


End file.
